The Maltonian Web

The New Maltonian

The New Maltonian was a re-launch of the School Magazine. There appears to have only been a few issues published, between 1982 and 1984, and we have only 3 in the School archives, numbers 2,3 and 5.  Others welcome.

Number 4 is not in our archives. Does anyone have a copy?

Number 2: May 1982

54 pages + 10 adverts

The editors try to provide a mix of articles for all tastes, and strike a balance between "literary" articles and being accused of "dumbing down".

There is an interesting discussion by the Head, John Gresswell, of the future of Sixth form education in Malton - expansion beyond A-level, how it can be sustained in rural Ryedale, how it will affect 11-16 education.

Staffroom notes centre on completing crosswords. Mrs Hetherton writes about life away from school,(her second child having just been born). Mr Everitt was running a Drama club, the ski trip went to Austria; there was riding, young farmers, waterski-ing, fly fishing, poetry, disarmament. "Views from around the school" voiced young people's opinions - for example "I think everyone on earth should speak English, so there would be no need for French or German lessons". Howlers from the needlework exam include "To look after your clothes properly - don't wear them".

Sports results are between the then four houses: Kirkham, Rosedale, Byland and Rievaulx.

December 1982 No. 3

50 pages

Mr Lucas and Mr Ashworth oversee an editorial committee of 16 students for this edition. The editorial discusses good manners and their desirability. The Headmaster writes two pages about staff: at this point in time, 19 of them had been there since 1971.  Two were leaving - PE teacher Mrs Key, who had been on the staff since 1975, and Mr Marcroft after 2½ years teaching Physics. Mr Peters had arrived as youth tutor.  The difficulty some Sixth Form and Fifth Form leavers were experiencing finding employment was noted.  For the first time in four years enrolment had fallen below 700 - a national trend which was set to continue for the next ten years (predicted and correctly so).

Karen Loseby reported on a successful musical event in October. Mr Jones looked forward to Christmas music.
Mr Ashworth provided "Not the Staff Notes".

David French (1-1) protested against Sixth Form dinner privileges. Another 1-1 pupil enthuses about collecting Marvel Comics (a rich man by now if he kept them all).

Fifth form humour included "The window box of Karl Marx is just another communist plot".

Angela Coomber and Karen Loseby reported on the trip to Greece with Mr Joannidis.

A Bayes reported on a weekend in the Lakes with Mr Miller and Mrs Wood, Cath and Spadger.

Various comments on work experience were included.

First impressions of Malton School by Beverley Hutchinson - presumably a student teacher. Also from a questionnaire given to first years.

A page by Pippa Evans considered the plight of the elderly.

Beverley Earnshaw of 4-1 pictured the world of the future.

A couple of poems - Pegasus and Me, The Moors, The Dreamer, Top of the Form, Limericks from 2-4, Staff v VI form Rugby (the final score was 38-0 to the Sixth Form)

1982 Malton School hockey team
1st XI hockey

Two photographs included on centre pages - the 1st XI hockey team, and U13 Football team. One is here.

There is a word search of famous people.

There is a 3 page example of the unique writing style of R D W Thomas, on Compulsory Games for Sixth Form; I have no idea what they actually argue or what the point is meant to be, but this fascinating personal version of the English language is worth reading just as a example of idiosyncratic style - it is like so many other offerings from the same pen, and is instantly recognisable as such, and totally incomprehensible. [I can say what I like here - I'm sure the old man will never read anything on something as modern as the internet - unless someone tells him what I have written! SF]

Various sports results - Malton appear to be winning more than losing in all age groups and all sports.

Number 4 is not in our archives. Does anyone have a copy?

April 1984 No.5

48 pages

Messrs. Lucas, Ashworth and Everitt oversee an editorial committee of 8 students for this edition, but with representatives for every year.

The editorial considers mixed sports lessons.

Mr Gresswell writes on the downward trend in enrolments - only 84 in 1983, the growth of the Sixth Form, redesigning of the common room (to include 24 study carels), a new Art block about to be created from the old kitchens in East wing. The existing pottery room was to become a TV room and small drama studio. He also welcomed Miss Garside, who replaced Miss Speak in Languages.

An article called The Gripes of Wrath.

A report on the trip to Italy in July 1983, with Mrs Shields.

Jason Brown writes on advice for those buying a computer - the relative merits of ZX81, Vic-20, Oric-1, Atari 400. "Floppy discs are quite popular, but they are only available on some computers and the disc drive used to play the discs costs from £200 - usually more than the computer."

A description of life at Thika High School, Kenya (no explanation why).

An interview with John Craven, who visited the school on Friday 18 November 1983 - I think he was fund raising.

Some interesting useless facts - "the human mouth produces two thirds of a pint of saliva a day" - is an example of their nature.

As well as interviewing John Craven, there is also an inteview with John Gresswell, Roy Settle, and Adrian Everitt.

Hugh Spencer contributes an article expounding his thoughts on the decline of reading.

2nd, 3rd and 4th years contribute their thoughts on what Love is - "they sit and dream through their lessons and get told off ... they sprawl all over the desk ... write their partner's names on books, desks, hands, ..."

2 pages of jokes, including a series of elephant jokes: "How do you know if an elephant is in bed with you?  The letter "E" embroidered on his pyjamas."

A quiz on "Do you think you know Malton School" (the writer doesn't - some of the answers are incorrect. )

A story about snow by Richard Hadfield.

A description of The Grounds of Grantley Hall.

Ashley Bayes has a poem about King of the Wild Frontier (Adam Ant).

Boys and Girls sports report.

December 1984 No.6

60 pages

Peter Booth writes an editorial about what to put in editorials.

Cartoons by Sean Cunningham.

Mr Gresswell writes of the "sensational" (because of relative stability) departure of four staff in summer 1984. Mrs Kay, Mr Rowntree, Mr Christal and Mr Everitt. Mr Lees and Miss Burn arrive in replacement - falling roll numbers meant that not all four were replaced. Mr Dowding sadly died after a relatively short illness.

An alternative fantasy version of the Headmaster's notes appears (anonymously!), in which whisky, the Daily Telegraph and Star Trek appear to be the Head's main concerns, as well as a missing Mr Martindale.

Jokes are scattered through the booklet - "What do you call a four foot high judge?" "One of those little things sent to try us".

Two interesting pieces of creative prose from Judy Thomas (2-1) and Susan Thomas, and various poetry contributions.

Katrina Caldwell reflects on the success of Smike, and Michaela Nicholls and Sophie Wray on "Vacuees".

Wham and George Michael head the pop poll, with Tracey Ullman and Michael Jackson up there as well. Boy George is the most disliked.

Peter Lees and Davena Burn are both interviewed, but do not give too much away. Mr Lees declares his age (born April 1938), Miss Burn declines with "it's how old you feel that counts".

A series of "interesting" facts are included to boost the General Knowledge - barbed wire was invented in 1846 by Walter Hunt, for example.

Two reasonable quality photos are included - the 1984 2nd year football team, and the 1984 girls 4th year area netball champions

1984 Malton School netball team
4th year netball champions
1984 Malton School Football XI
2nd year football XI

A report on the trip to Greece organised by Alex Joannidis is given by John Roberts.

We are treated to seven pages of reminiscences from a teacher of his times in younger days as a pupil at school. This appears anonymously, other than it being written by "an odd little beggar with a weird accent" - but the contorted style indicates that it can only be from the pen of one Mr R D W Thomas - was "beggar" the term students used for him? 

A summary of sporting activities appears over a number of pages, and the magazine closes with a number of adverts, mostly genuine, apart from the Sellwell Estate agents who are selling off West Wing - "all fittings plus staff included".